Growing up and you suddenly realize you were born completely different from the rest of the world must be crushing and one of the hardest things for anyone to go through. This is one vital reason as to why we as human beings ought to pray and thank God each morning we wake up for molding us so lovingly and perfectly. Most of the time we tend to take simple things for granted, like the air we breathe, the food we are fortunate enough to have or even the beautiful body parts that God generously blessed us with.
For one young lady from Arizona, life has not been so fair to her. Kaylee Moats, 21 was devastated when she learned from her gynecologist that she could never have the privilege of enjoying one of the most beautiful gifts on earth – Sex! – Or even have children of her own.
When Kaylee was a teenager, it did not take her so long to realize that she was not having her menstrual periods like other girls. So she decided to pay a visit to her gynecologist in order to address the issue. Unfortunately, she was shocked to find out that she did not have a vagina. Yes! It’s very shocking but true.
This is actually a rare condition known as Mayer Rokitansky Küster Hauser syndrome (MRKH) which affects one in every 4,500 women around the world. It is characterized by the failure of the uterus and the vagina to develop properly in women who have normal ovarian function and normal external genitalia. Women with this condition normally find out that they have it after failing to begin the menstrual cycle – it is the initial clinical sign of MRKH syndrome. It is a very devastating experience for people that have this condition.
When Kaylee was first diagnosed with MRKH, she was completely heartbroken and devastated. It hit her like a blow realizing that she might never be able to carry her own children in her womb. To make it even worse, this young lady was faced with another problem that those who struggle to conceive don’t have – she was unable to have sex. As she continued to grow older, this became a bigger problem and a stumbling block in her relationships. This was the worst news she had ever received all her life – it was a hard pill to swallow!
Now that Kaylee has been in a relationship for over four months, her desire and urge to have sex have tremendously increased. Thankfully, her boyfriend is extremely understanding about her condition and doesn’t pressure her in any way about the absence of sex in their relationship. He loves and accepts her just the way she is – talk about true love!
She said, “I met Robbie in my senior year of college when I was working at the front desk. He thought I was cute so he came up to me, and we started talking. It took about a month for me to tell him that I have MRKH. He was confused at first but supportive and said that it doesn’t change how he sees me.
“He doesn’t really focus on the sexual side of our relationship because we can’t do anything since I don’t have a vaginal opening. But I am looking forward to having a sexual relationship. I’m not sure if I want to wait until marriage, but I think having that option there is a lot more comforting.
“I’m a bit nervous to have sex for the first time after surgery because I’m not sure if something is going to go wrong down there or if it’s going to hurt.”
Unfortunately, the surgery to create a vaginal opening isn’t covered by her medical insurance. Despite a vagina being an integral part of being a cisgender woman (A person whose gender corresponds to their assigned sex), it’s classed as a cosmetic procedure or gender reassignment surgery under insurance. This has greatly affected her emotionally, because it has been her only hope of ever reversing her health condition.
“The fact that insurance considers this a cosmetic or a gender surgery really upsets me,” Kaylee said.
“I have all the correct chromosomes of a woman so it’s not a gender or cosmetic thing because it’s not what’s outside that is different. I can’t see what is wrong with me.”
Considering the fact that she has a lot of student debt to pay off and a family who isn’t in any position to pay for the surgery on her behalf, Kaylee’s sister Amanda realized that her best chance of getting this life-changing surgery would be through crowd funding and in June 2017 set up a page to raise the necessary $15,000.
Crowdfunding is the practice of funding a project or venture by raising many small amounts of money from a large number of people, typically via the Internet. This trend has grown exponentially in recent years, with so many people taking advantage of it to fund surgeries that are not covered by medical insurance companies. Many transgender people, for example, have successfully crowdfunded procedures that have enabled them to biologically transition.
Amazingly, the target that Amanda set of $15,000 has now been surpassed and as of August 22, 2017, an incredible $19,335 has so far been raised. Sex is a beautiful and natural part of the human experience, and Kaylee will now be able to enjoy it with her lovely boyfriend when she is ready, instead of being unable to because of a biological abnormality which has no known cause.
Amanda did not stop there at helping her lovely sister out, she’s also offered to be a surrogate to Kaylee so that she can have children one day. After years of living with a condition that’s difficult to explain, Kaylee will finally be able to live a relatively normal life, becoming the mom and partner she’s always wanted to be.
We hope Kaylee’s story will reach the offices of insurance companies – perhaps they will have a change of heart when it comes to covering these kinds of surgeries. The fact that they cover procedures like vasectomies, it’s clear that they need to change their attitudes towards people with MRKH and those who are transgender as well. Whilst it’s understandable that cosmetic procedures aren’t covered, it makes no sense that operations which can have a significant effect on one’s life like these are not.
We wish Kaylee all the best with her surgery and hope that she has a quick recovery.
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